Performance reviews will frequently attempt to gauge the effectiveness of a person’s abilities to “Manage Up” within their work group or organization. The question is, should you change how you communicate with a person based on your rank, and their rank, within an organization?

When I’d interact, or watch my peers interact with a senior member of the leadership team at my most recent stop in the financial services world, it was evident that what we said and how we said it changed. Those lower on the corporate food chain tended to stiffen up, both physically and verbally, and invariably the “bad news” that we’d complain about to each other received an ample dose of sugar-coating before those on the top rungs heard it.

I’d walk away from those interactions thinking “Damn it! I had the chance to say what I really thought in front of VIP’s, and I didn’t take the chance. Next time I will!” Next time would come along, and again the opportunity to be completely honest would sift through my hands like sand at the beach.

The issue wasn’t that I didn’t know what to say to the big-wigs, it’s that my mouth froze and my brain farted. Like two ships that pass in the night, the big chance to “tell the truth” would slip past me. For most of us, the fault in that situation rests squarely on our shoulders, but it’s not about failing courage at a pivotal moment; it’s about lack of preparation.

Keep a notebook where you can track the ideas and perspective that will be most valuable to share with a member of the upper reaches of management. Typically, those interactions are quick, and leaders want the un-distilled truth. Organize your thoughts in a logical sequence. What’s the problem? What’s the impact of the problem, now and in the future? What’s your idea for a solution? What’s the desired outcome, and what issues or challenges can you anticipate?

Making the case to say the tough things in front of an intimidating audience isn’t easy. One way to break the ice is to be absolutely clear that your words come from an informed, passionate and prepared place.